The Missing Response to the RSVP … Is that Your MO?
"The Missing Response to the RSVP … Is that Your MO?"
Over the years, I have created a variety of events. They may have a cost to participate … others are freebies. Some are at a location that requires me to pay a fee to use it … some are at a no cost … and some are in my own home.
All ask for an RSVP … the abbreviation of the French phrase "répondez s'il vous plaît," which translates to "please respond." That’s a YES, a NO, a MAYBE—I’ll get back to you from the recipient.
Increasing, I’ve experienced the lack of timely responses, if any. Disappearing like the Dodo Bird did in the 17th century. Those I’ve talked with who do events: event planners, hosts of private events in their homes, restaurants, and other sites expressed they same thing … and frustration.
I get it … Busyness surrounds many of us today. The overwhelm that digital communications delivered could be a factor. I know that the level of junk email has dramatically increased over the past year. Junk email that I primarily attribute to the massive capabilities that AI generates to excel it. And I know that I have had to spend too much wasted time looking for emails sent to me from those who already exist in my Contacts are routinely shifted to the Junk folder.
Hmmm, maybe some have forgotten what an RSVP stands for? Could this be a generational thing?
For me, it’s irritating because it’s hard to plan events that need a headcount, the sooner the better.
If you are planning anything that needs a YES or NO reply to it,
Make sure that whatever you write, or say, in your invites is clear to them. Make personal and special to them in some way. Make sure guests know it matters to you whether or not they attend.
For small events, under 10, personally text, email, even call. Don’t send it in a group message or an Evite. For the over 20 in attendance crowd, I use an Evite type if invitation—but it still has a personal message within it—such as the WHY and most like WHAT I will be doing or serving.
Imagine the how you’d feel receiving this individual message:
“Hey- Hi- Hello, I’m thinking about you. I hope you are over the cold bug you had two weeks ago. I’d love to have you over next Sunday, the 14th, for a catchup brunch with a few friends. I’m thinking around 11 am and will have to make your own deli sandwich with a couple of salads to choose from. Let me know if you are free.”
This is something that you can a copy/paste in an email or text individually. Or say on the phone.
Versus a Group text sent to ten people:
“Hey- Hi- Hello, Next Sunday, the 14th, is Catchup Brunch time around 11 am. Let me know if you can come so I have all the ingredients ready to put together for deli-type sandwiches.”
Also, a copy and paste possibility.
Both are Casual invites, but they’d feel/read different to receive, right? And I think the first one is MUCH more likely to receive a prompt response.
Part of being a host these days is to expect that you have to ask more than once. I know … I so know … it’s an UGH when you are forced to do the follow-ups.
Don’t feel shy about doing so within a day or two to an invite if there’s a short lead time. If you don’t receive a response then, that means the answer is NO.
If you are organizing a bigger event with a longer lead time and it makes sense to use an electronic platform like Evite, Partiful or Paperless Post. You want them to feel their presence matters. You don’t get a response after a week, send an individual message.
A short email, text, or phone message that says:
Hi there … I’m checking in on you.
Did you get my invite?
Reiterate that you hope to see them and hope they come. This not the time to say or imply: “I need a headcount, you jerk!”
Personal invites can be fun, quirky, or direct. When you make them enticing, you get a higher response rate … I promise.
What say you?
P.S. I’m thinking of eliminating the MAYBE option in future invites.
Dr. Judith Briles is the award-winning and bestselling author of 49 books and calls Colorado home. When she’s not in the kitchen or in the garden, she’s working with clients as The Book Shepherd, a book and publishing consulting and project management firm that works with authors at all stages of their book to create and publish a book they never regret! She’s the founder of the first Authors’ Hall of Fame exclusively dedicated to ensuring the legacy of authors connected in some way with Colorado.
Judith’s books have been translated into 17 countries with over 1,000,000 copies sold! They have been featured in over 2,000 radio and TV shows including repeat appearances on CNN, CNBC, and Oprah. She has worked with over 1,500 authors and created 500 plus bestsellers. Print publications include Newsweek, People, Time, The Wall Street Journal and … The National Enquirer! Her popular podcast, AuthorU-Your Guide to Book Publishing is dedicated to authors and writers and their success and is ranked in the top ten in four categories on GoodPods.
©2026 Judith Briles – The Book Shepherd™ All Rights Reserved.
Comments